Give Thanks – Bless Up

I have so much I want to share with you all, but I digress, and will only share what is heavy on my heart. Guys, I have so much to be thankful for! Let me tell you, it has been a L O N G, HARD and emotional past few months. In my other blog posts, I have shared about my recent redevotion to Christ and the turmoil I have experienced. What you may not be aware of is the grace and mercy that has also been bestowed upon me during these hard times and even before.

First and foremost, I am completely undeserving of God’s FREE grace! However, because we serve such an amazing and loving God, he gave it to me over and over again when I was struggling. My life has been a constant battle and I have endured a lot. With that being said, I feel the need to share my testimony; not because I want glory or praise given to me, but just to show y’all what kind of God you and I serve.

I grew up, basically, in a single parent household. My father was in the military and had been deployed three times to Iraq. Because of this, I didn’t get to see him much of my childhood. Those few interactions even decreased as I got older because my parents separated when I was in third grade, and finally divorced in the fifth grade. That time, in particular, was a very hard time for me because once my parents finally divorced my mom went into the military. My dad, at the time, was dating so we moved in with him, his girlfriend and her three kids. In total that was seven children and two adults in a three bedroom house, and we didn’t even know each other. Anyways, when I was in sixth grade my father went to jail and I thought it was entirely my fault. During that same time, my mother got deployment orders so she was in Iraq the duration of my middle school years. My brothers and I were staying at my grandparents house, and life seemed to be utterly against me. Even when my mother came back, we struggled with finances constantly and we were basically homeless for majority of my high school career. However, through all of these things, God’s grace has never not been upon me. I was sexually abused, homeless and poor and yet here I am. I am in college with scholarships, I have my own car, I’ve gotten to travel, I have a close relationship with my family including my dad, and it is ALL and ONLY because of God’s never ending grace.

To the world I should hate men, be a teenage parent, abuse the system, and shouldn’t be able to achieve anything,  BUT GOD said,

“No. I have plans for you my daughter, and although you went through all of these things, I will use it to uplift my name and in turn you shall be blessed!”

Granted, I know my life could have been WAY worse and there are people in way worse situations, but once again, there’s God just throwing his grace upon me. Even in times when I was violated, I was still protected by God’s grace. God has saved me from ending my life and having the world tear me down. God has given me a broken family, but it has so much love. God hasn’t given me endless finances, but he makes sure that I am well and taken care of. I can do none of this on my own. I am only able to be who I am by God’s grace, and his grace alone.

I am so thankful for the life God has blessed me with – the good, the bad and the ugly, because he made my testimony strong so I could share it with all of you. Although, many times I could not see the positivity, God ultimately knew it all and he used it for his glory. I pray for all of you right now, going through these seasons of trouble, to know and trust that God’s grace is upon you. Grace is enough and if that is all you can be thankful for this season, that’s more than okay, because I am right there with you.

Stay encouraged and just know that I love you and am praying for you.

– Alicia Xo